#walburga realising sirius's true feelings

[lulublack90]

Prompt 1 - Great Hall

@wolfstarmicrofic November 1, word count 267

Previous part First part

They landed hard on the stone floor of the castle's Great Hall. It was usually used for banquets his family threw for the other high demons of hell, but tonight, the four huge tables had been pushed back to the walls to create a large space before the raised platform where the family’s table stood. 

He untangled himself from Remus’s long legs and arms, checking the man for injury before looking around the room. His mother towered over the pair, her face more enraged than he’d ever seen it before. 

“It is a good thing, Sirius, that I do not require the thinning of the veil to bring souls to hell,” She said quietly. Sirius’s entire body tensed, she was about to do something to punish him, but he needed to help Remus first. 

“Please, Mother, I should never have made the deal with Remus. He’s too good for hell. He should never have been brought here,” He begged her, looking at the unconscious man beside him. He shouldn’t have done that as he looked at Remus’s still form with love and his mother spotted it instantly. 

“Fool,” She spat and raised her hand. 

“NOOOOO!!!!” Sirius flung himself over Remus’s body as Walburga's magic flew from her hand. He felt Remus’s form change beneath his fingers. He pulled away, scared of what he might find. “Oh, Remus,” He wept. “I’m so sorry,” He brushed the soft hair on the back of Remus’s head. Where it had once been sandy curls it was now jet back fur. 

His mother had turned him into a Grim. 

Next part

[hollowed-theory-hall]

do you think there are similarities between Petunia & Lily and Sirius & Regulus' relationships? P and S are older siblings, and L and R are younger "golden childrens", because i somehow feel jealous in olders and incomprehension in youngers in both cases, plus youngers died earlier, actually due to Voldemort's fault

Like, yes, there are similarities, but I think it's the opposite sort of similarity.

Like, we know Lily was the golden child on her family:

Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that — that school — and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was — a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!” She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years. “Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you’d be just the same, just as strange, just as — as — abnormal — and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!”

(PS)

A golden child whose sister felt abandoned by. Which makes Petunia sound more like Regulus and Lily like Sirius.

I think, that when Sirius and Regulus were children before Sirius ran away, Sirius was the golden child, not Regulus:

“Well, anyway, he was a big pal of your father’s at school. The whole Black family had been in my House, but Sirius ended up in Gryffindor! Shame — he was a talented boy. I got his brother, Regulus, when he came along, but I’d have liked the set.”

(Slughonr in HBP)

He had the same dark hair and slightly haughty look of his brother, though he was smaller, slighter, and rather less handsome than Sirius had been.

(DH)

Regulus is consistently described as "less" than Sirius. Less handsome, and less talented, and I think that was true at home, too. I think the reason Regulus went all out on blood purity and the Black family pride was that he was the second best to everyone except Kreacher. He wanted to prove himself worthy.

I headcanon Sirius was Walburga's favorite child. Kreacher does say that Sirius leaving broke her heart:

“Master Sirius ran away, good riddance, for he was a bad boy and broke my Mistress’s heart with his lawless ways. But Master Regulus had proper pride; he knew what was due to the name of Black and the dignity of his pure blood...”

(DH)

Sirius, contrary to popular fanon, wasn't unloved at home. I think Walburga and Orion loved him. I think Walburga saw herself in him. I think leaving them, realising everything they stood for was wrong hurt Sirius as much as it hurt his mother. After all, in OotP we see he chooses to stay in his parents' bedroom in his depression, not his own. He left Regulus' bedroom untouched, like a mausoleum. He still misses them, he loved them, and it makes his story all the more heartbreaking. Because you can love people who are wrong and who you know have evil ideologies, it doesn't mean you stop loving them instantly.

So, I think there is more of a connection between Lily & Sirius — golden, preferred children who are different among their families. Lily is the only witch in her family, and Sirius is the only Gryffindor in his family. Both are the smarter, more talented, more attractive sibling. Both of them ended up leaving home, leaving their families, for James Potter.

Then, you have Petunia & Regulus — stuck being second best, craving their parents' love and affection. The less talented, less attractive sibling. Both stick as close as possible to their society's version of "normal" to get the affection and pride they crave. Both hang out with people who are probably more extreme in these views than them and are more violence-prone than them (Death Eaters, Vernon).

So, yeah, I think there are similarities, just, not quite the ones you illustrated.

[quillkiller]

Hi, I love your blog, and please I would love to see you talk more about Walburga, I always found her a very interesting character, but there's almost nothing about her

hi!! thank you!! 💞

i love walburga so much, i think she’s so interesting. i think people forget that she was a woman in the 70s, and a girl in the 60s. to be clear, i don’t think she’s a redeemable character, especially not as an adult, but i do still think she’s a victim. <- two things can be true and everything isn’t as simple as black and white.

she’s painted as the main villain of the noble and most ancient house of black, but people forget she’s a woman. in the seventies!!! realistically, walburga held no power what so ever, was married off to orion against her will, and under orions control. she gave orion sons and an heir and did her duties as a wife. she’s a victim turned abuser. <- she simply didn’t break the cycle of abuse, tale old as time, etc. she’s been powerless her entire life, so she takes it out on her children.

me and kara talked about walburga a bit when we started talking about the bellareg marriage, and like, in the grand scheme of things, walburga isn’t really anything. she’s such a small pawn in such a large game, a game ruled by powerful pureblood men. she was born a daughter, something to be dealt with and bartered with, and ends up at the hands of a husband like her father. <- i wrote a bit about this in my bellareg oneshot. me and kara said that we think bellatrix grew up idolizing walburga, because despite being small in the grand scheme of things, she can appear so scary and violent. but as bellatrix gets older she loses more and more respect for walburga. she realises that she really is just a submissive and obedient wife, on a tight leash held by her husband. walburga doesn’t have ambitions that stray outiside being a wife and producing an heir. like, at the end of the day, walburga really is just a wife and a mother.

walburga’s abuse is allowerd because orion is the one to allow it. he’s the puppet master, the only one with an actual say-so in his family and with his sons. i’ve said it before when i’ve talked about how walburga is treated like the Main Villain, but a silent man (of the house) will always scare me more than a wife ’acting out’. orion is a man, and it’s bonkers to me that people don’t recognize that he’s the main villain and main abuser in the black household. he’s literally a massively powerful pureblood man in the seventies and people want to act like he’s somehow scared of walburga ??? (<- a take ive seen multiple times lmao). like genuinely, WHAT is walburga going to do to him. she’s powerless in her own marriage. even a disowned sirius is more powerful than she’ll ever be. even regulus, the spare, is more powerful than she’ll ever be. because they’re men.

to sirius, she’s a monster. he’s simply not able to humanize her (to me), and nor should he have to. she quite genuinely is his abuser and his own devil, and i don’t think he necessarily recognizes that the main villain of his upbringing is his father. <- not that he doesn’t hate his father too and thinks of him as his abuser. but to me, walburga is his actual devil. his monster under the bed, more frequent im his nightmares than his father. and like, yeah. that’s so understandable, and i don’t think that’s like the wrong opinion of him to have lmao. it’s never up to the abused to forgive and/or understand his abuser. like i said at the very top, walburga is irredeemable. when she becomes an adult the abuse becomes a choice, and she didn’t break the cycle. <- i wrote a bit about this, and how shocked sirius is to see walburga as a person with feelings, in my grief microfic.

reg, however, is able to humanize his mother. me and kara talked briefly about the spare & wife parallells and how that’s why he’s able to see her as a person. laurie @/itsjaywalkers reblogged a post a million years ago that said something like ’i wish they would invent a mother who wants to be saved’ <- and that’s how regulus sees his mother, i think. regulus knows what it’s like to be powerless, to be a shadow, to be less. but his mother doesn’t want to be saved, and so regulus doesn’t want to be saved. i’ve always thought that sirius is more like orion and regulus is more like walburga. <- and that’s also why walburga loves sirius more, and why she can’t stand regulus. it’s also part of a lot of conflict between the black brothers, the fact that sirius can’t humanize walburga and regulus can’t help but humanize her.

anyway! yeah, walburga is irredeemable & and abuser but at the same time she’s also a victim. people can be, and often are, both. it doesn’t mean she should be forgiven. i’ve talked lots here on quillkiller dot tumblr dot com how much it infuriates me when abusers are painted as evil heartless monsters that simply can’t help it because its ’in their nature’ or because they were ’born evil’ <- that’s simply just not how people and/or abuse works. abusers are people who chose to do that to you, who have feelings and lives and relationships and a past. it’s never as simple as black or white ! there’s nuance everywhere, babey

[moonaged-moony]

okay so i decided to link every taylor song to the marauders era because im obsessed with taylor swift and marauders and im convinced she wrote every song thinking about them. (gonna post them one album at a time) 1/10

tim mcgraw - lily to james

picture to burn - lily to severus ("i realise you love yourself more than you could ever love me")

tomg - remus about sirius when he dated mary

a place in this world - peter

cold as you - post prank wolfstar

the outside - peter

ttwas - james ("that you cry but you don't tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one")

stay beautiful - wolfstar/jegulus/jily/marylily

should've said no - remus to sirius post prank ("you say that you'd take it all back given one chance" PLS)

mary's song (oh my my my) - jily (i struggled with this one but "they never believed we'd really fall in love" determined it for me)

our song - jegulus ("when we're on the phone and you talk real slow cause it's late and your mama don't know" could either be reg hiding it from walburga or james who hasn't come out yet)

iomwiwy - dorlenee my bbgs ("well you drive me crazy half the time the other half I'm only tryna let you know that what I feel is true")

invisible - this is so regulus about james ("and you can't see me wanting yoj the way you want her")

a perfectly good heart - regulus to sirius when he left

[itsjaywalkers]

hi laurie <3 how is your health? do you feel better?

there’s another big discourse about regulus character, what is ooc for him, what is not, was he right, did he deserve redemption or did he deserve to die as villain. you know, same old conversation, but it made me curious about your vision of his character! how do you view him in canon? do you think he was more morally dark than grey or more grey than dark? tell me everything please <3

hi lovely!! my health's fine, i'm completely recovered!! it was a tough week but i survived that stupid chest infection

oooooh u know i don't care about discourse but i love how u just brought it up to . turn it into a nice lil debate and ask about my portrayal of a character <333

we obviously don't get a lot about reg in canon but i think we get enough!! a couple of what could be core traits (since what we learn of him is all from sirius pov who's . quite biased) and some of his backstory!! so yes, he's kind of a blank slate of a character, which is incredibly fun when it comes to fanfiction but also . i truly believe there's a foundation here, even if a tiny unstable one yk??

anyways, to me, regulus is quite morally grey, but i don't think . he's more dark or more grey . the lovely kat (@messrsage) wrote a very interesting post about this a while ago, they talked about how the black brothers are both morally grey, and that sirius isn't more good or regulus more bad. they move up and down the spectrum, depending on who they keep as friends, on what influences them and their environment. i think the word kat used was morally fluid?? or something along those lines. and i absolutely agree!!

i don't believe sirius was better or inherently good. i just think that they had different responses for the same trauma. that they surrounded themselves by very different kinds of ppl. neither of them is in the right or in the wrong, yk?? they're both victims!! regulus thought that . obeying and listening to their parents and doing what he was told was the best course of action and there's nothing wrong with that

sirius implies that reg wasn't . capable of thinking on his own . that he was 'soft enough to believe them' (referring to their parents) which has always made me think that . despite reg definitely believing in blood supremacy and all that bullshit, at least for a while, it wasn't because he rationalised the whole thing all by himself and thought it was True and Right and Genuine, but that walburga and orion said this was how the world worked and he didn't think of questioning it. sirius did and look where that got him, right?? and besides, those are his parents, and despite how strict and cruel they can be sometimes, they love him, regulus knows they do, so why would they lie. i think he was comfortable, in a way, in the life that his parents made for him, and if not fighting back and agreeing with everything also stopped the abuse then even better

it's like the death eater thing. i'm sure his family had a lot to do with it!! and sure, it was also implied that reg had this weird nerdy fixation with voldemort, but i don't think that means . he was bad . voldemort was such a powerful wizard, and his family, or at least part of it, supported him and chose to follow him, so why wouldn't he find him interesting?? or even worthy of admiration?? he ended up betraying him and sacrificing himself the moment he realised what voldemort actually intended to do. besides, he was a fucking kid. people tend to forget that he was literally 16 when he joined the death eaters. and idk about u, but i was a fucking idiot at 16. not awful or anything, ofc, but i still did and said a lot of shit i'm not proud of, simply bc i didn't know better. but the thing is that i wasn't expected to!! bc again, i was just a kid!! doesn't excuse any of my mistakes, but i do think it's a fact that u gotta take into account when u try to judge someone

i think regulus wasn't a hero, but he wasn't a villain either. i think he was a terrified boy trying to survive. trying to make his family proud. and by the time he finally realised his mistake, it was too late. he still tried to fix his shit, and i think that matters. does that make him a good person?? nah, not really. but i think it makes him human

on a more surface level, my regulus is . proud . stubborn . spoiled . posh . mean in a non-targeted way, it's never personal to him (or not usually) and he's not trying to hurt anyone, it's just . a defence mechanism?? part of his personality, in a way. he isn't trying to be cruel on purpose. i think he's also a curious person, but it's a part of him he tends to ignore or supress, bc his parents don't like it. i think he's a follower and that he hates being the centre of attention, but at the same time, he's jealous of the way sirius seems to have everyone's eyes on him when he enters a room. he can be petty and resentful, but he's also shy and quiet and so very soft. it's a side of him that not a lot of ppl get to see, bc it's weak, but it's very much there, and i think that's the regulus that sirius knew most of his life. the regulus that he knew (or at least wanted to believe) was still there, which probably make him speak of him in such a . gentle way?? like yes, he called him an idiot but he has no qualms about cursing the rest of his family out, and he's pretty mean to all of them (with good reason) except andromeda and regulus. to me, that means he still loved his brother, and if sirius is still capable of . caring about regulus, at least to a certain degree, without even knowing about his change of heart . well . he couldn't have been that awful

there's also quite the debate about the kreacher thing, and whether reg was actually kind-hearted enough to believe and defend elves' rights or if it was simply the fact that it was kreacher, his house elf, and nothing else. personally, i don't think it matters that much. whatever his reason was, he still decided to betray voldermort over it, and tried to do the right thing, even tho the risk was High and he didn't know if he'd make it. that's what i believe says more about his character than what his exact tipping point was

and god i'm gonna shut up now, this turned out to be so ridiculously long i just . find regulus so interesting SORRY NONNIE😭

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Other Evans Girl [Part Twenty]

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauder’s Era]

Pairing: Sirius Black x Original Female Character, Sirius Black x Daisy Evans, James Potter x Lily Evans

Characters: Sirius Black, Original Female Character, Daisy Evans, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange, Walburga Black, Orion Black, Jasper Thicknesse, Barty Crouch Jr, Mulciber, Walden McNair

Word Count: 1892

Rating: Teen

Summary: Hogwarts is a safe haven, a home for many, but it’s often a place where heartache, love and complex emotions dwell and none know that better than the Marauders. Lily Evans just wants to make it out as a successful witch though the oncoming war and the ongoing advances of James Potter threaten that. Daisy Evans, her twin, has other goals. Join the Evans sisters as they make their way through Hogwarts, prepare for war and eventually find love.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, Friends, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Marauder’s Era, Teenage Angst, Babies, Weddings, Dating, Crying, Loss of Virginity, First Wizarding War, Love, Kissing, Teenagers, James Potter is a bit of a dick, Hogsmeade, 1970s, Fighting, Loss of Parents, Grief, Babies, Injuries, Gore, Harm, Christmas,  The Potter’s Mansion // Daisy’s Dress // NYE Lily’s Dress // NYE Daisy’s Dress // Lily’s Ring // Daisy’s Ring

Notes: Okay so I’ve been working on updating this and I’ve finally gone through all the chapters already written before I start writing more. It’s changed a lot so I’ve decided it’s just better to completely re-upload it.  

If you want tagging let me know

LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST // LINK TO ALL PARTS

The two weeks at the Potter’s passed by in the blink of an eye for everyone except Sirius. Now that he had realised the true extent of his feelings his relationship with Daisy now felt more cumbersome, his brain scrutinising everything they did. Every word, every look, every touch. Did she like him back? Were they just friends? With other girls, he seemed to know what they wanted or how they felt about him. With other girls, he hadn’t had to do much work and if he were honest with himself he hadn’t put much effort in to keep them on the hook. But Daisy was different. He wanted to make her happy, to make her smile. He was more careful, scared to do anything that might make her not like him. And he wanted her to like him, badly.

If James had noticed anything to do with his behaviour he hadn’t mentioned it. After snapping at him the first night he had backed off and though Sirius could tell he was longing to talk to him he hadn’t give him chance to.

Since James was going to be Gryffindor Team Captain now they had spent every day out on the Quidditch pitch strategizing for the next few games once term started. Even Daisy had relented to joining their sessions, on a broom, though she defaulted to being referee rather than play. The only time they spent off the pitch was when they’d gone to Diagon Alley for the day to get their new school supplies, topping the trip off by spending the afternoon in Fortescue’s Ice Cream shop with Alice. And on their last night before they headed down to London to catch the train they’d had a party on the roof, just the five of them, some beers and a small bonfire.

Due to all of their baggage this time the Potters decided that it was best to floo down to King’s Cross rather than drive and Daisy had barely touched down on platform nine and ¾ before Lily was upon her, ensnaring her in a hug as she said, ‘oh my god I’ve missed you! Home has been so boring! You should’ve warned me it was so dull I could’ve gone back to Marlene’s or something. I was lucky I could go to work-’ ‘Jesus Lil are you getting your revenge by smothering me,’ Daisy asked pulling out of the hug Lily had engulfed her in. ‘Sorry,’ Lily said, meekly, ‘just excited to see you.’ ‘I’m excited to see you too but at least let me breathe,’ Daisy ribbed, Lily rolled her eyes.

By now the boys had come through the network, appearing beside Daisy in rapid succession. Daisy braced herself for hostility but it never came. In fact she smiled at the boys, her summer of getting to know Sirius and by default the others, seemingly having softened her as she said, ‘hi boys.’ ‘Lil,’ Sirius nodded. James looked flummoxed, scrambling to reply as he daren’t miss the opportunity to speak to the red head, though all he could manage to say was, ‘hi Lily.’ Lily said nothing but nodded curtly at him though her look of neutrality disappeared as Remus appeared from behind them, a smile on his face as he said, ‘hey Lil, did you get my last letter?’ ‘Arrived this morning,’ she beamed as he moved past the group, following her as she headed towards the train, babbling about whatever book they were both reading. James watched agog. ‘Well, looks like Moony’s having more luck with Lily than you eh Prongs?’ Peter chuckled as he followed their path though he was knocked sideways for a moment as James shoved him before following where Lily and Remus were headed. Sirius and Daisy watched them go.

After a moment Daisy seemed to realise they hadn’t followed on and grabbed her trolley ready to head in the same direction, looking at Sirius whose eyes were on the train, as she said, ‘ready?’ ‘What? Oh yeah,’ he said, grabbing his own trolley as she set off, trying to ignore the way his mouth had gone suddenly dry just watching her. She didn’t notice. They’d had a late night and in the rush to get everyone out of the house she’d got changed in a flash. Her hair was all over the place from where she’d brushed it but not put it up and her green eyes had slight bags underneath from lack of sleep. And yet she still looked agonisingly pretty to him.

As they neared the train door, ready to leave their trolleys with the conductor to sort the larger luggage, he forced himself to stop staring, climbing onto the train first so he wouldn’t give in. When they found the boys they were already in a compartment, stuffing their carry-on bags up over head racks. Sirius shrugged off his back pack and threw it on the seat but before he could sit down Daisy tapped him on the shoulder.

‘Can you put my stuff up there for me? I’m just gonna go find Lil,’ she asked, handing him a backpack and a vanity case which he took dutifully. ‘She’s in the next compartment down,’ Remus said looking up from the bag he was rooting through to explain, ‘Marlene and Alice were already there so that’s why we stopped here.’ ‘Thanks, Moony,’ Daisy smiled, before heading out of the compartment, sliding the door closed quietly behind her. Sirius watched as she disappeared before he turned to place her stuff up over head making sure it was secure before he took a seat next to Peter, who was already counting his change for the trolley lady. James however wasn’t distracted. In fact he was looking squarely at the black-haired boy across from him his arms folded across his chest as he watched Sirius, who was now stuffing his jacket into his bag. Sirius didn’t look up at first, too busy trying to corral the hefty leather jacket into the bag in a manner that left the rest of his things accessible. Remus however picked up on it immediately, placing his own bag by his feet as he eyed the pair of them.

As Sirius finished up, he looked up and met James’ stern gaze. He knew what the boy was probably going to ask but he feigned ignorance anyway as he asked, ‘what?’ ‘Don’t what me,’ James said like a disappointed parent, ‘spill.’ ‘What are you talking about?’ Sirius asked, his charade continuing. ‘I’ve given you two weeks. Two whole weeks to mull over whatever it is you’re hiding but now I want to know,’ James said firmly. ‘Prongs,’ Sirius sighed. ‘What’s this?’ Peter said his eyes wide as his interest was piqued. Remus too looked on with curiosity. ‘Sirius has been upset about something since he got to mine,’ James said. ‘Is it your parents?’ Peter asked. ‘No, no it’s not that though I know that’s been bothering him,’ James answered as though the older boy wasn’t in the room and couldn’t speak for himself. ‘I’m fine,’ Sirius protested. ‘You have seemed off mate,’ Remus chipped in not wavering as Sirius stared him down. ‘So go on,’ James said, ‘It’s nothing,’ Sirius said, rolling his eyes. But James’ gaze never wavered, the pressure feeling heavier now all eyes were on him. Sirius sighed and relented, ‘okay maybe you’re right.’ ‘So what is it?’ Remus asked. ‘I,’ he sighed, realising that there was no turning back. If he didn’t tell them James would only carry on badgering him and if he did it in front of her she might start to get suspicious. So, in an effort to be brave he said, ‘I sorta like Daisy. Like, really like her.’ ‘About time you realised,’ Remus chuckled. ‘Wait you know?’ Sirius said agog at the smirk on Remus’ scarred face. ‘Well, I figured,’ Remus shrugged. ‘Prongs?’ Sirius said, his eyes leaving the sandy haired boy to see if this was news to anyone else. James seemed only half shocked. ‘Well I thought it was something to do with Daisy but I wasn’t hundred percent on what it was,’ he admitted. ‘Well I had no idea,’ Peter said earnestly. ‘That’s no surprise,’ Remus ribbed earning a chuckle from the cabin.

When the laughter died down all eyes fell on Sirius as James said, ‘so what do you think you’re going to do?’ ‘What do you mean?’ Sirius asked confused. ‘He means you’re hardly a novice in situations like this,’ Remus smirked. ‘Yeah when are you going to ask her out?’ Peter agreed. ‘I don’t know if I am,’ Sirius said truthfully. ‘Why not?’ James asked, confused. ‘Because she’s Daisy,’ Sirius said as if it was obvious. ‘And?’ Remus asked. ‘And she’s part of us now,’ he said, unsure how they hadn’t all realised why he would be reluctant to do so, ‘I wouldn’t want to jeopardise her being part of this group or lose her as a friend if it all went to pot.’ ‘Why would that happen?’ James said. ‘It might,’ Sirius reasoned, ‘besides I don’t even know if she likes me. And what if she doesn’t and I ask her out and then everything feels weird? I just think I’m better off leaving it.’ ‘Well when you put it like that I can see your point,’ James said. ‘Yeah Prongs is right,’ Peter said.

‘I think you’re wrong,’ Remus said seriously. ‘Moony,’ Sirius sighed. All eyes fell on Remus but he didn’t concede instead he looked at Sirius whose face had fallen into a frown as doubts were cast over his reasoning.

‘Because what if you’re wrong?’ Remus argued, ‘what if you both like each other?’ ‘We don’t know that,’ Sirius said, ignoring the flutter inside him at the idea of it. ‘You never know unless you ask her,’ Remus countered. ‘Rem, Sirius is right,’ James said, ‘I mean what if they get together and it all goes wrong?’ ‘Then they get over it,’ Remus said. ‘And if it’s too hard?’ Sirius asked, ‘do you want to have to pick between us?’ ‘He’s got a point,’ Peter said, ‘I don’t want to lose either of them.’ ‘You’re all focused on it going wrong,’ Remus said rolling his eyes. ‘Because it might,’ Sirius grunted. ‘But you two could be really happy,’ Remus said, ‘look if you don’t want to ask her out then it’s your choice but I’m not going to pretend like it doesn’t make sense for you two to be together.’ ‘Moony-’ Sirius said, ready to break into a tirade of how none of it made sense. Of how there wasn’t even proof she liked him as more than a friend let alone for them to spend the rest of their lives together as Remus made it sound, yet before he could the door slid open, Daisy appearing in the doorway. Everyone shifted awkwardly making her face fall in confusion, ‘what have I missed?’

SIRIUS BLACK/SERIES TAGS

@maeisafangirl @mysteriouslydelicateface @caitlin1996 @imthebadguyyy

[birlwrites]

that previous ask didn’t come from me, but that one line is doing things to me, so here i am!

they started missing each other long before sirius left.

see, this, right here, is one of their core issues: there was little to no communication between them, even before sirius severed the last ties of their relationship when he ran away. they constantly missed each other in every sense of the word: in the way they longed for the relationship they used to have, but also they just. were never on the same track at the same time, if that makes sense?

i’m so curious to see how sirius feels about regulus in ttdl, because in tyrant, he outright states that he would always be his brother, but he just chose not to reach out mainly because he doesn’t know how walburga and orion would react to that if they were to hear of it. but, and correct me if i’m wrong, i’m pretty sure you’ve said before that sirius doesn’t feel/think exactly the same in ttdl, so where does that leave him?

like we’ve seen that regulus misses him, even though he never says it, not even thinks it. but most of his internal monologue in the recent chapters where he’s in grimmauld makes it pretty damn obvious that he hasn’t quite adapted to his brother’s absence, even though he doesn’t really realises it, seeing as that would require Emotional Awareness and Feelings Acknowledgement, which are very much not in the Regulus Black Skill Set.

but i’m curious to see if sirius feels/thinks the same way, if he unconsciously just brings up regulus in his own head when he sees, hears or does certain things. which is why i’m very excited for the next chapter, because Black Brothers Interaction, and i’ve also been dying to see what happens since you posted those last few lines of the last chapter on here, like, weeks ago.

anyway, all of this to say, i’m very fond of the black brothers and their particular brand of drama and miscommunication, and i’m really excited to see what you do with them <3

— 💌

re: not being on the same track at the same time, YES ABSOLUTELY - a lot of the time they're almost operating in different universes that play by different rules, and that means they're destined to miss each other

i've probably said at some point that sirius doesn't feel exactly the same way in ttdl afhslgkdhfj that seems like something i would say and it is true - the main difference is that in tyrant, sirius and regulus's estrangement is largely driven by their parents. in ttdl, while that is still *very much* the case, both of them have had enough of a hand in it to feel senses of both blame and guilt for how it's gone

so ttdl sirius has all of that going on, and he and regulus also both have their pride - the question is just who's better at swallowing it (not regulus) and who's better at actually admitting that something has gone wrong between them and they want to fix it (also not regulus)

sirius isn't going to chase regulus down on the train or anything like that, but he's more thoughtful than regulus gives him credit for (because regulus would really like to blame sirius running away on sirius being impetuous) and after the events of the next chapter, the wheels will be turning in his brain

so the reconciliation is an arc more than it is a scene or even a chapter - it's going to be an ONGOING process because it'll take a lot of time for regulus and sirius to work through the. everything. but soon they're going to start talking to each other again and that will be its own point of no return

[emilythescribbler]

Shattered Glass - JEGULUS PROSE

Regulus felt the weight of the world upon his shoulders, but that was a common occurrence these days. He always felt, particularly since the day his brother left, that his family’s burdens had morphed, becoming distorted enough to the point where, now, at just sixteen years old, he wasn’t sure where his own anxieties ended and his parents’ began. Was this how it was to be? Was this how it had always been, but, simply put, his brother had taken the brunt of those stresses to the point where, now alone, he no longer had any kind of protection against the effects of dark magic, of a home without love, of a life lived only in service of another?

He was changing, he knew that, for he was no longer the sensitive boy of his youth, but now hardened, reborn anew into someone to strike fear into the hearts of many. In truth, he hated to be like his parents, but then, he would think, hadn’t Walburga and Orion thought the same thing? Was it the curse of broken families to bear broken children, to grow into broken people, and for the whole cycle to start once more?

Regulus couldn’t think much more about those things, those dark and terrible things, for then he was reminded once more of the burning sensation in his arm, buried just beneath his skin, but there all the same, as the dark mark twisted and turned in it’s grotesque way before his eyes – a stark reminder of the price he had paid, never truly understanding why or how he had made it, but a choice nonetheless. He could feel tears swell behind his eyes, Regulus closed them tightly, willing them away, pushing those thoughts, weak and tired they were, to the far corners of his mind. Strong, be strong, he reassured himself, but then another voice, calling out from the void added, in the way a whisper is carried by the wind, never to be heard from again, just like Sirius.

He thought of James, and their last encounter just a few weeks prior. War was upon them, and though he could sense the older boy’s fears and apprehension, Regulus knew, as well as he knew his own name, James Potter would not let anything stand in his way, not his own mind, not the boy he felt, somewhere in his past, he could have loved. He would stand up for what he saw as a just cause, would stand by his friends and fight to protect the world at large.

In a way, Regulus could respect it, but when asked, not for the first time, if he needed to be saved, if he wanted to escape, Regulus felt as though it were all a terrible trick. James Potter thought he could save everyone, and maybe it was true, but, as Regulus curled up on his bed, burying his face in his pillow as tears fell, again, not for the first time, he wondered why it was James, of all people, who had seen something inside him long ago, who could still see something within him, something that he himself could not, wished not to, that meant he was worth saving, was worth putting himself at risk for. War near, nearer so each day, and Regulus knew that he would surely play his part. He wished it all to be different, he wished that he could be like his brother, the brave Gryffindor, the kind of person to save rather than be saved, but he was not Sirius Black.

He dried his eyes then, and put on a display of the hardened personality he felt he should be, had come to realise was as much a part of him now as the boy who weeps and never wished to part with the person he loved, if nothing else than in secret, and went to meet with his parents, to play his part as he was expected to, paying no mind to the pain erupting from his arm in those short, brief moments between now and then. He had done the same then, as he had turned his back on James, struggling to find the courage to look him in the eyes, before he disappeared back home, to face the mark and all it carried.

“Reggie, it doesn’t have to be like this.” It held a silent plea: Stay, don’t leave. Stay with me. Regulus wished to run into his arms then, but he stood firm. He and Sirius were, at least in this one respect, quite alike, James had come to realise.

“It’s too late, James. I’m already death’s old friend. If we meet again, it shall be as enemies. Do not follow me.”

And as Regulus apparated from sight, James gripped his wand tight. He did not, he soon discovered, have the courage to follow. James cursed himself then, and wondered where it all went wrong. While he knew he loved Lily, for it seemed that love had, in its own way, always been there, growing like a flower from seed to bloom, his love for Regulus had been like shattered glass: sudden, chaotic, broken, with a presence he could not deny, yet which cut him for reaching out to mend and repair, biting into his hand, and yet… he still reached out, he still hoped to repair, he still hoped to mend, he still hoped to save, no matter how many times glass bit into his flesh, no matter how much blood he lost.

It would seem it were Reggie who resembled the black dog, far more than Sirius ever did.

_

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[comsumedsoul]

I think I want to expand on this. Sirius Black loves positive attention. Emphasis on the positive, because he definitely got attention from the moment he was born. To those who think Walburga and Orion were absent parents or were completely neglectful, I don't think so. With Orion, I don't think he cared for what Sirius felt (obviously, since that man was an asshole), but he'll keep track of all his "achievements" to know he's not slacking and track of anything else that Sirius might do that will besmirch the name of the family. With Walburga the attention was oppressive. With her idea of perfection to make Sirius the "perfect" heir, she would nitpick on everything. So Walburga's constant surveillance was definitely a lot of attention. But when Sirius got to differentiate the positive attention from what he is used to, especially at Hogwarts because of his charm, brilliance and him just being the uber opposite to the "Blacks", he thrived on that positive attention. With the Blacks, Sirius's intelligence and genius was only appreciated when it suited their objectives, not when it was the primary force against their beliefs. Hence he was disinherited. Staying with such an abusive family would have a direct impact on his mental health.

Even if we hypothetically consider that they weren't abusive, still, realising that your family is outright racist, and supporters of genocide, supporters of dehumanising a complete group of people and growing up surrounded by such people has to be traumatising enough. Sirius Black thus developed mental defences and coping mechanisms that automatically alienated him from someone who never has experienced such harsh conditions. Being able to be completely vulnerable was not something he could dream of, since his feelings and thoughts were the only things that he was in control of. When he finally got the freedom to be himself, he still had to hide his moral indifference from most people (excluding James who knew him intimately) thus his "normal" was different. Among all the good and the bad things, I feel Sirius liked the control he had in how he presented himself to the world. It was never a mask or deceit, he was always completely himself, shamelessly so, but choosing how that shameless, unapologetic parts of himself was presented was definitely something he liked. It was freedom to be himself, wild and free - freedom to let go and to keep his emotions to himself. He did not like people "figuring" him out, since he didn't really hide who he was. He was a bully to students who he thought deserved it, he was brilliant in his studies, he was a troublemaker and those all were true parts of his self/personality, however conflicting they might seem to some. He was against pureblood supremacy, but not against "necessary" murder (like with death eaters and Peter), again, he didn't really hide that. But knowing his deepest thoughts, his weaknesses, his fears, his inner turmoil, was only his right and no one else's business. He hates to be perceived - to be watched or scrutinized by others (because it's basically reminiscent of being under Walburga's care). While attention would ultimately lead to perception, he wanted the perception to be based on what he was, and not subjective notions based on rumours, gossips or personal biases. He wouldn't have wanted James or Remus or even Peter to judge him wrongly because at Hogwarts they were his closest friends, James most of all. I think he was initially also reluctant to let people in, he didn't want negative attention and feared negative perception by people who he let in and were actually close to him. But yeah he still liked the good attention. With him being one of the brightest students to ever grace Hogwarts and being handsome beyond measure (both things which he definitely knew very well), the positive attention had to be undeniably gratifying, a boost to his ego and morale.

Sirius Black loves the attention but hates to be perceived. I said what I said.

[engie-ivy]

(This can be seen as a sequel, after a timeskip, of this fic! Part one was Enlightening for Sirius, this time, it'll be Enlightening for Walburga!)

@wolfstarmicrofic

9th: Crystal Clear

To say that Walburga does not like the unsophisticated boy who somehow managed to captivate her son, would be putting it mildly. Though they might have some common ground, in both wanting Sirius to be happy.

Common Ground

“Whoa!” Euphemia takes a step back. “I came to congratulate you, but with that look on your face, I feel like I should be offering you my sympathy instead.”

Walburga tears her eyes away from the pair in the middle of the room to look at Euphemia.

Euphemia chuckles. “Come on, Walburga! It’s a celebration.”

“And what exactly,” Walburga says slowly. “Is so celebratory about watching my son throw his life away?”

Euphemia comes to stand next to her to look at the crowd, sipping her champagne. “Well for starters,” she eventually says. “I’ve never seen Sirius more happy.”

“Because he isn’t thinking!” Walburga exclaims. “Or at least not thinking any further than a boy with pretty eyes batting his lashes at him.”

“He’s thinking about what makes him happy,” Euphemia counters.

“You have a child,” Walburga says. “How would you feel if your child threw away everything to pursue some insecure future?”

“If I had to choose between my son having security, or my son experiencing that rare feeling of true love,” Euphemia replies. “I would choose the latter. What can a mother want for her child more than happiness?”

“And how long will that happiness last?” Walburga asks with a sigh. “You must understand, his father is furious. Not only because that boy is a stain on the family tree, but also the insult it did to the Lestrange family! He wants nothing to do with Sirius anymore, went as far as to disinherit him. I’ve tried to talk to him, of course, but it’s unlikely he’ll change his mind.” She shakes her head. “So you see, Euphemia, not only is he throwing away a chance at a marriage to a man of means into a well-established, comfortable family for that boy with no fortune or prospects, but he also won’t have anything himself!”

“You really must stop calling him ‘that boy’, and start using his name, now that he’s part of your family.”

“And also take into account,” Walburga continues as if Euphemia hasn’t spoken. “Sirius is used to a certain standard of living.”

“I must disagree with you,” Euphemia says. “Both Remus and Sirius are resourceful boys with a good head in their shoulders, they’ll find a way to get by, I’m not worried about that. And I don’t think Sirius is as attached to luxury as you seem to think he is.”

“My son deserves better than getting by,” Walburga says with a sour look on her face, before downing her champagne.

Euphemia sighs. “You can’t fight it, so please, for Sirius’ sake, just embrace it.”

“Can we speak, Mrs Black? Or should I call you mum now?”

Walburga bristles. The nerve! Not even Sirius or Regulus refer to her as ‘mum’!

The boy smirks, and Walburga realises he was purposely ruffling her feathers. So, she thinks, there’s a wicked side to him. She had thought there wasn’t much more to him than his ‘sweet and innocent’-look which he used to ensnare a rich guy.

“I do not believe I have anything to say to you.” Walburga turns to leave.

“You don’t like me.”

Walburga turns back around and looks at the boy.

“You wish Sirius hadn’t married me,” the boy continues. “You wish he’d married Rabastan Lestrange instead.”

Walburga arches an eyebrow. “That’s rather...”

“Direct?”

“I was going to say impertinent.”

The boy shrugs. “What’s the point of beating around the bush? It’s crystal clear to me, to Sirius, to everyone.”

“Then there’s no need to discuss it further,” Walburga says curtly.

The boy crosses his arms over his chest. “Sirius loves me. I don’t feel like I have to prove anything to you. The only reason why I’m even willing to have this conversation is because I believe you do actually care about Sirius.”

Walburga must admit, she hadn’t expected the boy to have such fire in him. It does explain a bit better what Sirius sees in him.

“Then you must forgive me that I do not applaud my son throwing his chance at a secure future away for someone who has nothing to offer,” Walburga sneers.

The boy frowns. “You keep talking about security. But tell me, Mrs Black, when do you think Sirius will feel more secure? When he’s with Rabastan Lestrange, someone who doesn’t give a shite about him, only as a trinket to show off, who only cares about his looks and last name, if he cares at all, and even then it’ll last until someone new catches his interest? Or when he’s with me, someone who knows damn well that Sirius Black is the best damned thing to have ever happened to him and that will ever happen to him, who will forever have one priority and one priority only, which is to make Sirius happy, who knows that Sirius is too good for him, but who will try every minute of every day for the rest of his life to deserve him?”

“So I’m supposed to settle for that?” Walburga asks. “You’ll try?”

The boy holds up his hand, showing her his brand new wedding ring. “What choice do you have? It’s done, Mrs Black. You cannot keep fighting it, or you’re going to lose your son.” He shakes his head. “And losing Sirius isn’t a fate I’d wish upon anybody.”

Walburga places her hands on her hips. “You seem awfully sure he’ll choose you over his own mother.”

“He’ll choose the person who won’t make him choose,” the boy says. “And where you refuse to accept our marriage, I’ll never ask him to give up on his mother.”

“But you’ve already made him give up on so much,” Walburga reminds him. “His social status, his inheritance, his relationship to his father. If you truly think he’s too good for you, if you truly care about him so much, how do you justify letting him do that?”

“Because he will be happy!” The boy says in a raised voice, before taking a deep breath. “He will be happy. I am going to make him happy.”

“You really think you can do that?”

“No, I know I can do that.”

Walburga looks at the boy with her most intense, piercing stare, but the boy just lifts his chin and meets her glare head on.

Okay, so he’s really got some fire in him.

“Alright then,” Walburga says after a moment. “You better deliver on those words, Remus.”

Only as Walburga is walking away, she realises that she called him Remus.

[weeklyreadings]

Week 30

Your Left Life

Rated E. 28k. Dean x Seamus

Dean can see himself doing it, pushing the duvet to the bottom of the bed and rolling over, feeling the warm line of Seamus’ body beside him, kissing him. He knows he’s going to eventually, he can hear the start of it in his head. You fought in a war, this should be nothing.

Romeo and Juliet by cinnamontoastcrunch15

Rated T. 5k. Wolfstar

During a production of Romeo and Juliet, Remus and Sirius realise just how much they mean to each other.

Friends in Rich Places by wannnabesuper

Rated M. 14k. Wolfstar

Scholarship student Remus Lupin is working too many jobs just to get by. But when ultra rich Sirius Black takes an interest in him at a party, are things about to change? Of course they are; now Remus is working too many jobs and, when he has a bit of spare time, shagging a millionaire.

Letters to the Toymaker by @theresthesnitch

Rated G. 454. Wolfstar

Harry sends a letter to his favorite toymaker, Lupin Toy Company, without his godfather's permission. Lucky for them boy, Mr. Lupin writes back.

Scent of the Moon by @quietlemonhush ♥️

Rated E. 140k. Wolfstar and James x Regulus x Lily

Not content to only disown the wayward heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Walburga calls in back up. Bellatrix has all those new friends with their good ideals and their sharp, sharp teeth. Sirius Black returns to Hogwarts with a bite in his side and a fever he can't shake.

👆🏾This went straight to my favorite list before I even finished it. The author is new for me but I’ve now decided to read everything they’ve written.

Assisting in Research by @quietlemonhush

Rated E. 4k. Wolfstar

Remus and Sirius make a, um, friend.

Chapter 4 of Welcome to Aphrodite by @de-sire-blog and @rhabarberjunge

Rated E. 4k of total 19k. Wolfstar

Everyone knows about Aphrodite - the elite, incredibly exclusive, adult-only club for anyone who is looking for a sinful adventure. Everyone also knows that it's just a myth, nothing more than an urban legend. There is no such thing as a place that makes all your secret desires come true. Or so Sirius thought until he is proven wrong when his carefully hidden wish gets fulfilled. His wish is, of course, Remus Lupin.

Slip Me On by @squintclover

Rated M. 8k. Wolfstar

When Remus meets Sirius in a supermarket, he's a bit gutted that Sirius clearly isn't his soulmate... Not that he's going to let that stop him from trying to bump into him again.

Bindings, Bindings by @quietlemonhush

Rated M. 65k. Wolfstar & Jily

Months after their death, Lily and James drag themselves through the Veil with a guest. They have some things to do.

[unspeakable3]

hufflepuff!regulus

at first he thinks the hat + his sorting is some sort of massive practical joke that sirius has somehow managed to pull off

when he realises it’s legit he wants to die

like he just sits there on the stool and is like please kill me, o sentient hat. please devour me with your leathery maw so i never have to deal with the consequences of your terrible, terrible decision

but mcgonagall whips the hat off him and shoves him towards the hufflepuff table and he just. wants. to. die.

the entire great hall is silent. they lived through sirius’s unusual sorting the year before, they know what was expected of regulus

narcissa is over at the slytherins in disbelief. some snotty kid dares to make a snarky comment and she stabs him in the back of the hand with her fork

sirius is delighted. he thinks it’s the best thing that’s ever happened. he’s constantly transfiguring things into tiny badgers and leaving them for regulus to find - in his schoolbag, on his desk, in his shoes, somehow even in his bed

walburga and orion are… less happy. they can’t decide if hufflepuff or gryffindor is the more humiliating house for their sons. walburga goes into self-isolation, refusing all invitations from other pureblood witches to tea, unable to face the gossip. she lies dramatically across the furniture and sighs a lot

orion starts a smear campaign about how dumbledore is controlling the minds of an entire generation of children through an ancient sentient hat comprised of unstable and unregulated magic. it doesn’t get much traction

regulus doesn’t sleep for a fortnight. he’s terrified of everything in hufflepuff - he doesn’t want to touch anything in case a mudblood has touched it before him, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone in case they’re a mudblood out to seduce him as the mudblood seduced his ex-cousin, he’s scared to close his eyes in case the mudbloods try to suffocate him and steal his blood in his sleep

but hufflepuffs are nothing if not persistent, and gradually wear him down. one day he accidentally addresses a mudblood and doesn’t burst into flames afterwards. he begins to think that maybe the stories he was told as a child weren’t entirely true

he doesn’t have time to get jealous and upset about sirius’s friendship with james and the other gryffindor boys, because his own housemates are always there, all the time, and refuse to allow him to feel lonely or upset or to wallow in his own self-pity

he doesn’t become friends with the marauders, but he tolerates them for sirius’s sake.

(he quite likes remus, though he won’t admit it to anybody, least of all sirius)

sirius, now that he has an ally at grimmauld place, doesn’t leave home. he and the hufflepuffs work on improving regulus’s self-confidence to the extent that even he stands up to their parents one dinner (surprising everyone in the process, himself most of all)

he’s much better than sirius at trying to persuade their parents’ minds on the topic of purebloods - he has logic and research and evidence with which to backup his arguments while sirius merely has the volume of his voice - but they are old and traditional and don’t really understand, or care to understand, what the youths are up to

regulus isn’t persuaded to join the death eaters, because he has no reason to. he doesn’t need to prove himself, he doesn’t need to ‘fix’ his family, he doesn’t need to give in to peer pressure. he’s happy.

he doesn’t join the order, though. he’s not an idiot. instead, when sirius abdicates in favour of chasing after their more evil family members, regulus takes over the duties of heir. he guides the family well, stops funnelling money into voldemort’s cause, and campaigns for better treatment of all the family’s house-elves

(when he’s older and wiser and has more time, he will extend this campaign to all elves in the country)

he does, however, assist the order. he has gold and he has connections and there are many houses and cottages on the black estates which can be used as safe houses whenever necessary

he keeps in close contact with narcissa and, when she comes to him tearful and scared one day, when lucius has given their house-elf to the dark lord even though she’d told him that she was pregnant with their first child and told him that they needed to focus on their family, not the dark lord’s whims, he agrees to help her

he tells sirius, who tells james, who tells lily. they all tell dumbledore together.

narcissa manages to get the house-elf, dobby, to dumbledore. through careful questioning, dumbledore works out that the locket that dobby had helped to hide must have been a horcrux. retrieving this, and locating the other horcruxes, takes time

but regulus, suspicious of the way that sirius’s little friend peter seems to be very good at lying and sneaking and sowing mistrust, volunteers to be the potters’ secret keeper in sirius’s place and goes to live on a rural olive farm on the greek mountainside with kreacher until the war is over

without the events of hallowe’en 1981, the first war lasts longer and many more lives are lost. but the first war against voldemort is the only war against voldemort, and the dark lord is fully defeated a fortnight before young harry potter’s 11th birthday

harry and his best friend neville are waved off at the train station by all four of their parents, all three of their younger siblings, by their godfathers sirius and regulus black, and by regulus's best friend kreacher

(regulus never manages to persuade sirius to settle down with a nice witch and have a family of his own. and regulus has no intention of doing such a thing either. instead, he adopts three half-blood children whose parents were killed in the war and raises them as his own. he doesn’t name the eldest his heir, but tells the family that they will talk about such matters when the children come of age. and if none of them want the role, it doesn’t matter. he’ll find someone else. none of the family’s children will be forced into a life that they don’t wish to lead, ever again.)

[siriiusxblck]

nxcturnals​.

Regulus was never anything but the perfect, dutiful son. That was true today as well. He hadn’t needed to be told that punctuality was important. He hadn’t needed to be told to don the BLCK label suit that was delivered to his apartment. His preparedness was expected and taken for granted, a surety in a world where so much else could go wrong. The last time Regulus had bucked his parents expectations he had been seventeen and hardheadedly determined — they were just glad that his one rebellion hadn’t expanded into more. They were just glad he wasn’t more like Sirius. Sirius, bright and wonderful and as reckless as the day was long. Regulus didn’t need to ask to know that their father had laid down the law regarding tonight with his older brother. Sirius was here, and presentable, and that was all Orion could ask of him — though Regulus was sure that Walburga would have something to say about his posture. For all that Sirius can be a wildcard, Regulus is relieved when Sirius enters his space and takes a place beside him. Everything seems just a little bit safer when Sirius is in the room with him. “I’m never wrong.” Regulus agrees, dull. “The world would be a better place if everybody realised that.” He shoots Sirius a look, a careful arch of his brow. His brother was teasing him, and Regulus wasn’t sure if he was going to properly tease back yet. “You don’t look like you got dressed in the dark for once. Well done, brother dearest.”

   It was rare that Sirius was seen without a smile on his face. He knew that it irritated a lot of people in their family. Especially their parents. That only seemed to push him more to smile but the truth was that they should be happy when he’s smiling. It means things are okay. It means that he’s not on edge because if he isn’t smiling then that means something happened and another side of Sirius was seen but if he was being honest, he knew they preferred that side of him. The darkness that lingers underneath that not many people had seen yet. He preferred to keep it buried. He didn’t like how it made him feel. 

    “Oh, my apologies. I might have worded that wrong then. You’re right.” He looked around to make sure to take in all familiar and unfamiliar faces. Sirius has learned to always be on his guard, pin point every exit and always be ready. Despite what anyone may say, he’s learned a lot from what his father has said. It’s just not obvious to those who don’t know him. Someone else may just think he was just trying to find anyone else that he might know. His attention turned back to Regulus at his compliment. 

     “I’ll take the compliment. However backhanded it may be.” He said with a half chuckle. Sirius knew that his brother was being honest with that. He had learned to read him and the way he speaks to know the truth behind his words. Sometimes he thinks that may irk Regulus but Sirius hopes that it just shows him how much he cares about his brother. “I’m assuming mother and father have yet to show though.” 

[lostmykeysie]

More music for you, more!

I don't want to fall in love - Addison Grace gives off Regulus Black vibes in how he firstly never really saw or experienced healthy romantic love, and if it was there it was shunned and how if he didn't defect and didn't die he would have been in an arranged marriage

Youth - Daughter is Canon complaint Remus or any of the other survivors of the war

Also yes I have heard "Broken Bodies, Broken Hearts" I do quite like it! Also, Antidote (Peter's song) can also work for Reg as he really is an anti-peter in that they have the same role just different sides and Running to the edge is so sad as well, so is until the end, especially those few lines. They all are really sad honestly, but what's to be expected? It's this fandom.

firstly darling i want to say this. please go and have a listen to red hot pants by WIIGZ and tell me why i every time i hear this song i think of slut reggie?????????? like reg just absolutely killing it. model walk reg. too sexy to speak to you reg. legs for miles and a little crop top reg.

anyway!!!!!!! back to the regularly scheduled depression!!!!!!

you are so correct. i feel like growing up with walburga and orion (i can't write their names together and not think burger with onion) would have been soooo traumatising and damaging to a child's psyche. you cannot grow up surrounded by a dysfunctional, unhealthy parental relationship and it not to fuck you up, surely??? very apt song, very bang on the money today anon

omg daughter... daughter daughter daughter. i love daughter. their songs are so gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, slash you to the bone. listening to their stuff takes me back to when i was a depressed teen omg throwback. this is sooooo true. 10/10 you are correct have never been wrong ever.

i also want to suggest that landfill is remus consumed by self hatred post-prank, hating what he is and what he nearly done, hating that it was sirius that put him in that position, blaming himself, etc etc etc but still not being able to shake the fact he still loves him anyway EURGH

i ALSO want to suggest that smother is sirius in THH after he has the fight with remus and remus leaves and then sirius realises 'oh shit i love him'. it's basically the soundtrack of the oneshot i'm (still) writing

the antidote point is sooo valid i had another listen. also the anti peter is so true they're mirror opposites and i'd never really thought about that before you know. and lol they are all sooooo depressing but to be fair. so valid. way too much trauma to deal with what did we expect babes

i had, as usual, the best morning thank u xxxxxxxxxxx kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[alphardblacks]

alphard black, the brightest of stars in the noble, ancient house of black — his story, in a post.

alphard was born in the may of 1927, in the month of springs last darling, marking hope for the winters end, to pollux and irma black. he had an elder sister, walburga, and a younger brother, cygnus. he was sorted into slytherin house in the september of 1938, with tom riddle.

on the way to hogwarts, he befriended the said young tom riddle. he was quiet and silent, and he seemed unfamiliar with the ways of the wizarding world. it was alphard who educated tom on the great wizarding families - something his parents had instilled in him from a young age.

it didn't take long for the young alphard to find his way. with his elder sister in the year above at school, he did his best to maintain his image. however, he soon shed it to play for slytherin in the quidditch team. his tastes were more active than academic.

one of the acquaintances he kept throughout hogwarts was tom riddle. as the boys became older, they became closer. he told tom of the history of the wizarding world, and the noble families, though he himself had no care for the subjects the strange boy wanted to explore so much.

when tom attends a quidditch match begrudgingly, he sees alphard in a new light. he's fascinated in ways men usually were not fascinated with each other - he had never known an emotion like it. it seemed as though alphard felt the same, but they kept it secret.

alphard finds that by his final year at hogwarts, he has fallen deeply for tom. and tom realises that being with alphard is the closest he would ever feel to experiencing love. alphard didn't worship tom the way the others did. they were equals. but alas; they could never be.

but toms heart grew darker and his ideas for the future became too much for alphard to bear. each day he was less of the man he loved. alphard confronts tom about this, and in a rage, tom tells him they can never be together regardless, because of society, so he will not change.

alphard leaves hogwarts to take part in the war effort, to distance himself from the wizarding world that tom was infiltrating and slowly disrupting. whilst the other soldiers discussed their future wives and children, he could only think of the life he would never have with tom.

alphard was involved in a battle that left him injured, and news spread to his family that he was dead, including tom riddle. this loss is what makes tom snap, and his spree of killings worsen. by the time alphard recovers, the pain of what tom has done is too much to bear.

when he returns, and despite his family's wishes, alphard never marries. he could never live a lie with a woman and could never live in happiness with a man. he never has children but adores his nephews and nieces - particularly sirius and regulus.

living with the blacks was terrible for sirius and regulus, and if it hadn't been for uncle alphard, they would live their lives in uncomfortable solitude, with suppressed personalities in order to be deemed "proper". with alphard, they were free, and for the first time, happy.

walburga detested her boys being around what she deemed "muggle activities". alphard, being in the war, had picked up much of these, and showed them to his nephews. the nephews would visit him over summer and inspect his medals, whilst he told the in awe pair his war stories.

a core memory for the boys was alphard taking them to muggle london; buying sirius his first record from a stall, showing regulus muggle books like treasure island. he takes them to see movies, and the boys were too giddy to stay silent, though had to remain proper at home.

often, he would find the boys in their room at his estate, battling with sticks and pretending to be "spartacus". regulus particularly enjoyed their re-enactments of "a hard days night", where he would play ringo and pretend to drum for hours.

and as a young child, little regulus had been inspecting alphards hogwarts memories when he smashed a photo of him, and a young man, side by side. of course, as he always did, sirius told him to run upstairs, often taking the blame to spare his little brother from the rod.

fear filled sirius' heart, thinking of his punishment when alphard has turned the corner to inspect what happened. "i'm sorry uncle alphard!" he blurted out, too used to his mother and fathers cruel ways, and their punishments.

however, the emotion on alphards face was not anger, but worry. "did you hurt yourself? there's glass everywhere ..." for the first time sirius had experienced, alphard looked at him with a smile, and ruffled his hair. "don't be sorry, my boy. it's easily fixed."

tears filled the child's eyes, and he hugged the man tightly; he had never heard those words before. he had never hugged anyone before. his uncle embraced him tightly, protectively, and sirius knew that he would never be unloved so long as he had his uncle.

when sirius was sorted into gryffindor, he was full of terror. but his monthly letters from uncle alphard were full of encouragement; encouragement that made him accept his difference to his family. he questioned his family and their beliefs.

but when sirius matures more, he starts noticing that his feelings for his friend remus were changing. not friendship - something more. something strange. he knew that even the muggles didn't accept this sort of thing. he was broken, just like the picture. what would he do?

he and the marauders had snuck firewhiskey from a teachers office and in the heat of the moment, he kisses remus. he's in shock when moony kisses him back. when the firewhiskey wears off, he feels mortified that he would do such a thing. his family would hate him.

he's utterly terrified. one summer break, he lets it slip accidentally to alphard. he knows that this would be the end of his happiness with his uncle, and he would be sent away. his uncle merely smiled, and told him he couldn't be fixed.

because just like him, he wasn't broken.

and with this, sirius has fully bloomed into his true self. no longer does he sit and let slytherins talk ill of muglgeborns. he challenges his family. he challenges his mother. he becomes everything that alphard is proud of, and walburga detests.

when sirius is kicked out, alphard welcomes him with open offers and arms, though his nephew had flew the best and grown up; going to james instead. dear little regulus, on the other hand, is distant and colder, and alphard worries deeply for his dear nephew.

due to sirius' boisterous nature, his mother worsens her destructive attitude on regulus. he falls in with difficult crowds. no longer is he duelling as spartacus, but learning curses. the only drumming beat was his terrified heart when he was first recruited.

tom riddle is still a looming threat, and alphard knows it. he's still believed to be dead and he doesn't want to reach out. when sirius joins the order, he supports his nephew - they're the only hope. he would rather see tom destroyed than the evil man he had once loved.

despite all this, alphard still holds deep feelings for his former lover. deep feelings he could never let go of. as if he clung to the hope that tom could change.

until, during dinner, one night, he sees a dark mark on his little nephews arm that makes his blood run cold.

alphard and his pleading with regulus to get away from tom is the final push for the boy. he implores regulus to choose a better path, he is not a bad person, and he is not a death eater. this is what drives regulus and his sacrifice for the locket. uncle alphard was never wrong.

alphard blames himself for the loss of regulus. his little nephew; the baby boy he once held when walburga detested the sight of her 'sickly' little baby. he's a broken man. the beloved boy he had once loved like his own son was no more. because he couldn't protect him.

meanwhile, peter tells voldemort of his plans to betray the potters. that sirius would be perfectly set up, and even his uncle couldn't support his case. voldemort freezes when he hears the name; the name he hadn't heard since he went by "tom". alphard was alive.

for a moment, peter sees something flicker in toms eyes. even bellatrix notices the beat in the conversation. all those years he had grieved for alphard in the most wicked way. rage consumed him. he would destroy the potters, and the wretched black nephew alphard loved so dearly.

the broken alphard sits, in solitude; writing his will and leaving his fortune to young sirius, in the hopes that the fight would continue on. he knew he was destined to end this way. no happy ending. he pays one final visit to a former friend.

his former lover.

"all those years wasted, fighting opposite sides - and here we are, having precious few moments back. we could've ruled together, the two of us. i wanted you by my side.

goodbye, old friend."

if you've made it this far, thank you for reading my rambling headcanon on alphard black. three cheers for the best uncle in the world, and remember to stan tomphard.

(thread credit: narcissariddles on twitter)

[keijislove]

I posted 118 times in 2021

104 posts created (88%)

14 posts reblogged (12%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 179 tags in 2021

#harry potter - 40 posts

#harry potter x reader - 25 posts

#fluff - 19 posts

#harry potter x you - 17 posts

#angst - 15 posts

#marvel - 14 posts

#anon - 14 posts

#imagine - 13 posts

#mcu - 11 posts

#cute - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 44 characters

#peter is gorgeous change. my. fucking. mind.

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Dance With Me: Fred Weasley X Reader

A/N: Surprising how Freddie boy’s my favourite but I’ve never written anything for him...

Eh, probably thought I wouldn’t do him any justice lol.

WARNINGS: Friendzoning *shudders*

ENJOY!

The Yule Ball was responsible for breaking many hearts over the many years it had been held and you had hoped with all your might that your experience wouldn’t be the same.

It was the first ball you’d ever been asked to attend in your whole life and you wanted it to be with the boy you’d harboured feelings for ages ago.

Fred Weasley. Your best friend for six years now. The boy that could send your heart on a rollercoaster ride just by looking at you with those goddamn beautiful eyes of his. It brought you agony to admit that that Yule Ball experience would never happen, because you’d been the unlucky victim of the worst possible horror in living memory:

The friendzone.

Here you were, sitting in your transfiguration class, staring at Fred’s mop of vibrant red hair when the boy in question turned abruptly and your eyes locked for a moment.

He looked momentarily taken aback at catching you staring but as he realised it, his lips tugged upwards into a half smirk that sent you to the galaxies even Professor Sinistra wouldn’t be able to navigate.

Fred suggestively wiggled his eyebrows.

You scoffed, blushing as red as his hair.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you mouthed.

“Whatever you say,” Fred snickered, “I need your help – you, me, talk – after class.”

You were mildly confused – what did he want to talk about to you?

Swallowing, you nodded in agreement.

“You may leave, and hand in that essay soon Pucey or it’s expulsion!” Professor McGonagall shouted after all of you as you jumped out of your seat at her first three words.

Your eyes found Fred again and you beckoned him over. The boy complied, trying to walk towards you without attracting too much attention. He finally stopped, giving you a meaningful look.

“Not here,” Fred whispered, “Alone.”

“What in the name of merlin –” you began but Fred shushed you and pushed you further into the secluded corridor.

“Right,” he said when you finally reached, “I need to ask you something.”

“Go on,” you frowned.

Fred cleared his throat melodramatically, “As you know, Y/N/N, a ball is coming up. And I need a date. So, I wanted to ask you –”

Your eyes widened – was your wish somehow coming true? You were surely dreaming...

To check, you discreetly pinched your inner thigh. It really hurt, but at least you knew you weren’t dreaming. Your grin widened.

“I’d love to,” you cut Fred off with a smile.

“Well, I wasn’t really asking,” Fred snickered, “You’d have to say yes anyway. But are you sure?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” you asked in surprise.

“Alright,” Fred grinned, “I’m really happy you agreed to this, Y/N/N. You’re honestly the best friend ever.”

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449 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 10:57:07 GMT

#4

Pureblood Mania: Sirius Black X Reader

A/N: Warning: toxic mother-daughter relationship. Mentions of drinking.

Sirius Black was one of the most arrogant, thick and inconsiderate prats anyone would have the misfortune to meet. He found his pleasure in staying with random girls who truly fell for his charm all while he didn’t even look back once he got what he needed. Which is why to say that he was furious at the moment was a complete understatement.

His ‘beloved’ mother had decided to pounce upon him this very morning and Walburga Black was not one to beat around the bush. Authoritatively, she stormed into his room and snapped her fingers in front of her face, saying, “We’ve got to talk.”

Sirius supressed a massive groan – this couldn’t be good.

“I can see your future is going nowhere, boy!” she snarled, “You shall, under no circumstances, besmirch the ground that my forefathers have bestowed upon me by ending up to be a – a street dweller!”

Sirius rolled his eyes. Trust her to say something dramatic like this.

“Therefore, to improve our situation and get rid of you,” she added nastily, “You will be getting married at the end of this month.”

If there was anything Sirius was expecting, it definitely wasn’t this. He got up so fast that his chair crashed to the ground. He did not care.

“Wha- married?!” he sputtered, “To whom?!”

“You shall see this evening,” his smother snapped, “She’s a lovely girl. They will arrive at around five. Wear something respectable. And fix your hair!”

She stormed out of the room, leaving Sirius mouth agape.

Married.

She would probably be some swotty pureblood. The very thought disgusted him. Though, deep down, Sirius always knew he would be married this way, he wasn’t ready for that level of commitment. He was used to variety. Now he’d be stuck with some dull girl for the rest of his life. This day could not get worse.

------

“I’m ready, mum,” you spoke in a monotonous voice.

This morning, your darling mother had announced that you’d be getting married at the end of this month to a ‘charming’ young man. You knew she didn’t care who you married. Pureblood was the word.

You were wearing a F/C dress and your hair was styled neatly – very unlike you.

Your mother came bustling into the room saying, “Good. We should leave now, they’re expecting us. And don’t embarrass me.”

She glared threateningly at you.

You rolled your eyes.

As you stepped into the car, very much aware of what you were signing up for, it drove ahead through the beautiful town you’d once called home. Your car stopped in front of a handsome manor – one you’d never seen before.

As the front gates opened to reveal a scrawny house elf, you followed your mother inside. The moment you reached the living room, something felt off.

“Ah, Y/M/N!” a richly dressed woman greeted, “And dear Y/N! How lovely to see you!”

It was at that moment that you spotted one of your oldest friends, Regulus Black. Your eyebrows rose. This was better than any random pureblood, however, you were quite incapable of thinking of Regulus that way and you were sure he was too.

You looked at him and he looked back. You pointed to yourself and then him and mouthed, “Seriously?”

Regulus looked sickened and shook his head in disgust, mouthing, “Not me.”

You frowned slightly. Regulus didn’t have a cousin, did he? After all, the only other person in the house was –

Oh. Oh, OH.

Your face morphed into an expression of absolute horror as you registered the other person who had just entered the room, mirroring your expression.

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453 notes • Posted 2021-04-27 04:59:17 GMT

#3

Surprise: Harry Potter x Wife!Reader

A/N: warning, i guess there is a slight mention of NSFW (i do not write smut btw) and vomiting, sickness, etc.

Your eyes fluttered open as you were snatched out of your sweet dreams.

You looked to your left, where your husband was still sleeping.

Giggling, you got up and dressed for work.

‘Wake up, sleepyhead.’ You spoke. ‘You’re going to be late for work.’

Harry let out a small groan, sitting up in bed.

‘Morning love.’ He said through a yawn.

‘Morning, dork.’

---------

‘Mrs Potter, good morning!’

‘Hello Mrs Potter!’

‘Hi Y/N, alright?’

‘Good day Mrs Potter!’

‘Hello, hello.’ You briskly said, rushing through the stampede of Ministry wizards, making your way to your office.

‘Y/N, thank goodness you’re here!’ Hermione spoke. ‘Samuel Goodman’s having trouble with that spitting guitar again.’

‘Really? Again?’ you whined. ‘I didn’t think to bring lunch! That man’s job is going to take hours.’

‘I’ll tell Ron to get you something.’ Hermione giggled.

You fake gasped. ‘Minister, are you helping an employee?’

Hermione snorted. ‘Very funny, get going, he’s already knee-deep.’

You raised your hands in surrender, running off.

---------

‘Now, Mr Goodman.’ You seriously stated. ‘I do believe I told you to leave this instrument alone?’

The man blushed scarlet, muttering something that sounded like an apology.

You sighed. ‘Well, it’s done. It won’t spit at you anymore. Good day.’

You lead him out of your office.

Minutes later, there was a knock on your door.

‘Come in.’

‘Hey, Y/N.’ Ronald Weasley popped his head in. ‘Mione told me to bring you lunch, here you go. George has fixed this up for you.’

‘Ah, thanks Ron.’ You yawned. ‘Tell him thanks, that looks great.’

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464 notes • Posted 2021-01-19 12:43:17 GMT

#2

Harry Potter Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Tumblr deleted my HP masterlist (AGAIN) so here you go xx

A/N: Hello lovelies, so this is basically every H.P fic I’ve ever written so… enjoy!

LIGHTNING ERA:

Harry Potter:

ONESHOTS:

Happiness: You’re a muggle, but that doesn’t stop The Boy Who Lived from falling for you.

The kiss: You accidentally take an overheard conversation the wrong way.

The strange girl in Hogsmeade: Harry never thought that he would fall for the girl he saved in his Third Year.

Surprise : You, Y/N Potter, have been getting sick for quite some time. After visiting St. Mungo’s, you are astonished at the cause of your poor health.

Friends or more?: Where Harry kissed you in Sixth Year, but you weren’t sure what it meant.

Ammortentia: You, Y/N Diggory, have sworn to hate Harry Potter. But your love potion states otherwise.

Cry for me: Y/N shares her feelings after her breakup with Harry.

SERIES:

The fifth Champion (ongoing) : In which your name comes out of the Goblet of Fire and you’re terrified. Your friend, Harry, for whom you have developed feelings, is much the same.

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

Ron Weasley:

Cuddles: Ron gets flustered when his girlfriend shows him affection.

Idiot: When Fred lets your crush on Ron slip by accident, the boy is astonished.

Entranced: Harboring feelings for your best friend isn’t the best way to go - especially if he has a girlfriend. But does he really love her? Or has it been someone else all along?

Draco Malfoy:

None yet! Request and I’ll make it happen :)

Fred Weasley:

Bet (Both): You have a bet with the twins.

Dance With Me: The Yule Ball has been responsible for breaking many hearts, and yours was one that left you convinced it could never be mended.

George Weasley:

Bet (Both): You have a bet with the twins.

Cedric Diggory:

Pretty boy: You’re convinced Cedric is a prat, but a Quidditch match changes your opinion.

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716 notes • Posted 2021-08-25 10:21:48 GMT

#1

Jealousy: James Potter X Reader

A/N: Sorry for not posting in a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time I had the WORST case of writer’s block.... Its better now.

I always get yall riled up with my Harry imagines, now here’s one about his dad.

WARNINGS: Swearing, tooth rotting fluff, A N G S T, never written for James before

The Great Hall was its usual subdued self with the occasional clatter of knives and forks that surrounded you and your friends. You were anxiously looking around, refusing to touch your food until the missing boy arrived.

“Come on Y/N!” Sirius yelled through a mouthful of potatoes, “’Oo worry ‘oo much! M’sure ‘e’s fine! Oops – sorry, Moony.”

Remus shot him a disgusted look, reaching out to brush away the crumbs that had landed on his robe sleeves.

“Yes, but you two had Quidditch practice together, right?” you asked anxiously.

“Relax Y/N,” Remus patiently told you, “He’s probably busy in... one thing or the other.”

Sirius snickered, “’Eah, he and Lily are probably shagging in some closet.”

“Padfoot,” Remus snapped, throwing a sidelong glance at you as you pointedly looked away.

It was common knowledge that you and James were the dynamic duo of Hogwarts. James Potter and Y/N L/N – like two peas in a pod. You’d grown up as neighbours, played together, jinxed bullies together, run at the platform wall together – it wasn’t really your fault you’d fallen in love with him by your third year.

Who wouldn’t?

James Potter – athletic, handsome, talented – what was there not to like?

Of course you’d been too chicken to actually tell him that. You were afraid that by admitting your feelings for James, he’d not feel the same way and be weirded out, leaving you practically friendless. You were fine, you thought, as you were – best friends who did everything together.

And soon came the time when you regretted not speaking up when she came along.

Lily Evans.

Beautiful, kind, talented and just unnervingly sweet though she was, you just couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. The way her eye lit up when she saw you, the kindness with which she spoke to you – you hated it, but in your heart, you knew.

You knew James deserved someone like her, never someone like you – spineless enough to lose her first and only love.

It was true, you were quite good at hiding your feelings. Remus was the only one who picked up on your possibly unrequited love for James, leaving Peter, Sirius and heck, even James clueless.

As you sat there, trying your utter best to avoid Remus’s looks of sympathy, the sound of sodden footsteps broke  you out of your little ‘daze’.

You turned with a forced smile to greet him but the sight made you gratefully wipe it off. James was soaking wet (from the rain, no doubt) and his clothes were sticking to his body, giving you the perfect view of his Quidditch-toned body and Merlin’s beard did he look a breathtaking sight. It was not, however, the unnervingly attractive James that made you frown but it was the look his face wore.

It was one of the utmost fury – he looked agitated, a look James rarely wore because he was – well – James Potter!

“What’s up?” you asked automatically.

James gave a humongous sigh and ran a hand through his hair, making it perhaps even messier (if that was possible) than it was.

He plopped into the chair next to you and grabbed a sausage off your plate, cramming it into his mouth before grabbing a fork and stabbing a tomato so hard it slipped from beneath the fork and flew across the table, knocking Peter’s hat off his head.

After muttering a disgruntled sorry, James turned to you with a dead sort of look in his eye.

“It’s Lily,” he finally said, “She’s being... difficult. Says I’ve got my priorities wrong just because I want to hang out with you lot at Hogsmeade.”

“Where’s the problem in that?” you aske din surprise, “She could come along.”

“I said that at first,” James shook his head, “But she told me we never get ‘alone time’ anymore which is completely untrue by the way!” he added angrily to the rest of you, “All I do these days is spend time with her these days – if anything, it’s you four who should be shouting at me for not spending time with you.”

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873 notes • Posted 2021-07-29 16:12:36 GMT

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